WHO IS MORE INTELLIGENT BETWEEN AKPORS AND HIS DAD?

WHO IS MORE INTELLIGENT BETWEEN AKPORS AND HIS DAD? DAD

DAD: What’s 10 plus 10?

AKPOS: I don’t know.

DAD: Idiot! You can’t answer such a cheap
sum…Your stupidity will kill you.

AKPOS: Daddy, if you saw a 1000 naira note
and a 500 naira note which would you pick?

DAD: 1000 of course

AKPOS: Idiot! Can’t you pick both? Poverty

will kill you.

ONE WORD FOR AKPORS AND HIS DAD?

Read More

funny pix

Read More

Who Stole The Japanese Robot?

Who Stole The Japanese Robot?

 The Japs designed a special robot whose mission was to catch thieves and after the design they decided to test run the robot in Asia to see the efficiency of the robot in delivering the design purpose and the Robot caught about 30 thieves amongst them was a nairalander called Cherryice.

They brought the same robot to the US and the same robot caught 20 thieves with some nairalanders involved namely Babyosisi,KanwuliJara,CFCfan,Khia,cococandy and Ipledge

They decide to test run the robot on European soil and bingo!! the robot caught 10 thieves with some nairalnaders involved called Sirshymmex,50caliber,Justfollowit,Chiam55 and Mrcock.

And finally , they relocated the robot for test run in Africa and it was agreed that Nigeria being the most populated African country should take charge and the robot was brought to Abuja and that particular day APC was holding a rally and the moment they let the robot loose, the fuccking robot was stolen by APC nairaland wing.When a panel of enquiry was set up to know who and who was involved ,they found that the robot was stolen by Omenka and caseless and they sold it to another nairalander in Aba called Kachisbarbie who was already using the robot to steal goods in Ariaria market.

Read More

Funny picture

Read More

sunday Jokes

Dear people in a relationship, please remember this

Read More

AKPOS FUNNY JOKE (LOLZZZZZZ)

Joke: Akpors the horrible father

Akpors’ son, Junior, grew up and gained admission into the university and Akpors was so proud of him; he kept checking on him from time to time and advising him to not join any secret cult and stay out of trouble.
One day he called his son and said; “Hello son, I’m just watching the news now and there is crises in your school, where are you?”
Junior: I’m in my room papa.
Akpors: Did you lock your doors?
Junior: Yes.
Akpors: That’s my Boy. By the way, what is the cause of the crisis?
Junior: Well, the school authorities increased our school fees from N27,000 to N127,000.
Akpors: WHATTTTTT? Wait my Son, I want you to tell me the truth. Where are you right now?
Junior: I am in my room right now na, I told you before.
Akpors: (Angry) What????? ARE YOU STUPID?! Will you get out of that room and join the riot! If possible sef, kill somebody!!! If you stay there doing nothing, who do you think will pay that money???

Facebook

Twitter

JOKE: Why she went with her husband

A Zimbabwean girl married a French man and went with him to Paris. She didn’t know French. One day she went to the market alone to buy chicken thighs; since she didn’t know how else to tell the attendant she wanted the thighs, she lifted her skirt & pointed to her thighs and he understood. This went on for some days. The other day she wanted to buy chicken breast, so she lifted her top and showed her breasts; and he understood.
One day however, she needed to buy bananas; she thought about it a lot and figured there was no way she would explain that to the attendant using her usual method, so she took her husband along with her. Do you know why?
Because he knew how to speak French na! Dirty minds!

Joke: Akpors is the best thief

Akpors and Ofego entered a chocolate store one day. When no one was looking, Ofego stole 3 chocolate bars and hid them in his pocket. After leaving the store, Ofego says to Akpors:
“Oboy I’m the best thief ever, I stole 3 chocolates and no one saw me, you cant beat that”.
Akpors replied: “Oh, you want to see something better? Let’s go back to the shop and I’ll show you real
stealing.”
So they went back to the counter and Akpors says to the Shop keeper: “Do you want to see magic?” Shop keeper replies: “Yes.”
Akpors says: “Give me one chocolate bar.” The shopkeeper gave him one and he eats it. He then asks for the second, and he eats that as well. He asks for the third, and finishes that one too.
The confused shop keeper says: Akpors, I’ve done everything you asked, but where’s the magic?
Akpors laughs and says to the man: Now check in my friend’s pocket, and you’ll find the three chocolates I ate!
(Ofego fainted!)

Akpors and the house maid

Akpors’ wife couldn’t find three of her panties in her house and accused the maid in front of her husband Mr Akpors.
The maid in a bid to defend herself replied; ‘Madam, I swear, I did not steal your pant, in fact, I no dey even wear pant, if you think say na lie ask Oga, Oga you are my witness oh, I dey ever wear pant??
If you were Akpors, what’s the next thing you would do/say?

Akpors the bible student

Akpors went to Sunday school yesterday (Sunday)
Teacher: Who can tell me the surname of Lazarus whom Christ
raised from the dead?
(After a while Akpors gives it a try)
Akpors: Him surname na Com-fort.
Teacher: how did u come about that?
Akpors: It is in the bible. When Jesus raised him from the dead
He shouted, LAZARUS COM-FORT!!! (Lazarus come forth)
One word for Akpors this time?

Read More

Funny Pictures: I must not die

Read More

FUNNY PHOTO :AKPOS VISIT SANTA

Add caption

Read More

Akpors and the prisoners

Akpors just graduated from Bible College and was invited to speak at a chapel service in a prison yard.
He was very excited but being his very first time, he was very nervous as well.
He thought hard on how to introduce his message.
On that day, he arrived at the prison and was greeted by a large group of dangerous looking prisoners waiting to hear his sermon.
As Akpors walked and stood behind the pulpit in the prison, he was so taken away by the large crowd; introducing himself,  he said; Good morning Gentlemen. I am so happy to see you all here!!!
The beating they gave Akpors that day was so tragic to the extent that Akpors went back home with bandage all over his body.
One word for Akpors this time around?

Read More

Akpors the stingy businessman

Akpors, a very rich and very stingy businessman, was coming from the bank carrying a huge sum of money he just withdrew when three armed robbers stopped him and tried to rob him.
The shortest one amongst them shouted at him, “Your money or your life?!”
Akpors was silent for a while like he did not hear anything and he seemed to be deep in thought. The robber repeated, “Are you deaf?! Your money or your life?!”
Akpors once again did not reply; surprised, the boss of the gang said ‘e be like this guy dey try us oh, abi make we just give am one bullet?’ My friend, we asked your money or your life!!!!
Akpors replied, “Oga, wait na, give me some time, I’m still thinking of which one to choose.”
One word for Akpors this time?

Read More

If the three wise men were women

If the three wise men were women:

- They would have asked for directions instead of following the star.
- They would have presented gifts such as pampers, powder, feeding bottle, napkins, Akamu, cerelac and so on.
- After leaving one would have told d other ”did you see Mary’s shoes, they don’t match her dress”.
- One would have also said ”I heard Joseph is not working,he’s just an ordinary capinter. How can they
survive?”
- Another would have said ”imagine the kind of dirty enviroment she deliverd,are they not perceiving de bad odour from de goats?”
- Another would have also said ‘the baby doesn’t even resemble Joseph,was she really a virgin?”.
- One would have replied” Story for the gods, Virgin indeed, I knew Mary during SECONDARY SCHOOL days.
- Another would have been eyeing
Joseph.
- One go dey form queen Elizabeth saying “how can I enter dis dirty place”?

Read More

funny picture

Add caption

Read More

Akpors the stupid applicant

Akpors was trying to get a job in a very respectable company.
He applied, got an invite for their aptitude test and after using all his great skills of copying his neighbour’s answers in the test hall, he passed and was invited for an interview.
The interview was supposed to be the easiest part of the recruitment process as the employers assumed that anyone smart enough to pass the test deserved the job. However, the following conversation ensued when it go to Akpors’ turn:
Interviewer: Where were you born?
Akpors: Lagos
Interviewer: Which part?
Akpors: What do you mean which part? The whole body was born in Lagos.
One word for Akpors this time?

Read More

funny picture

FUNNY VIDEO: Confused baby sees twins for the first time

The goat tree

Our problem with maths

Light skinned girls be like

Brain teaser for geniuses

The innocent way to slap someone

When everyone is discussing sex

The goats are angry

What’s the missing number?

What is the 5th daughter’s name?

 

Read More