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Joke: Akpors the horrible father
Akpors’ son, Junior, grew up and
gained admission into the university and Akpors was so proud of him; he
kept checking on him from time to time and advising him to not join any
secret cult and stay out of trouble.
One day he called his son and said; “Hello son, I’m just watching the news now and there is crises in your school, where are you?”
Junior: I’m in my room papa.
Akpors: Did you lock your doors?
Junior: Yes.
Akpors: That’s my Boy. By the way, what is the cause of the crisis?
Junior: Well, the school authorities increased our school fees from N27,000 to N127,000.
Akpors: WHATTTTTT? Wait my Son, I want you to tell me the truth. Where are you right now?
Junior: I am in my room right now na, I told you before.
Akpors: (Angry) What????? ARE YOU STUPID?! Will you get out of that room and join the riot! If possible sef, kill somebody!!! If you stay there doing nothing, who do you think will pay that money???
One day he called his son and said; “Hello son, I’m just watching the news now and there is crises in your school, where are you?”
Junior: I’m in my room papa.
Akpors: Did you lock your doors?
Junior: Yes.
Akpors: That’s my Boy. By the way, what is the cause of the crisis?
Junior: Well, the school authorities increased our school fees from N27,000 to N127,000.
Akpors: WHATTTTTT? Wait my Son, I want you to tell me the truth. Where are you right now?
Junior: I am in my room right now na, I told you before.
Akpors: (Angry) What????? ARE YOU STUPID?! Will you get out of that room and join the riot! If possible sef, kill somebody!!! If you stay there doing nothing, who do you think will pay that money???
JOKE: Why she went with her husband
A Zimbabwean girl married a
French man and went with him to Paris. She didn’t know French. One day
she went to the market alone to buy chicken thighs; since she didn’t
know how else to tell the attendant she wanted the thighs, she lifted
her skirt & pointed to her thighs and he understood. This went on
for some days. The other day she wanted to buy chicken breast, so she
lifted her top and showed her breasts; and he understood.
One day however, she needed to buy bananas; she thought about it a lot and figured there was no way she would explain that to the attendant using her usual method, so she took her husband along with her. Do you know why?
Because he knew how to speak French na! Dirty minds!
One day however, she needed to buy bananas; she thought about it a lot and figured there was no way she would explain that to the attendant using her usual method, so she took her husband along with her. Do you know why?
Because he knew how to speak French na! Dirty minds!
Joke: Akpors is the best thief
Akpors and Ofego entered a
chocolate store one day. When no one was looking, Ofego stole 3
chocolate bars and hid them in his pocket. After leaving the store,
Ofego says to Akpors:
“Oboy I’m the best thief ever, I stole 3 chocolates and no one saw me, you cant beat that”.
Akpors replied: “Oh, you want to see something better? Let’s go back to the shop and I’ll show you real
stealing.”
So they went back to the counter and Akpors says to the Shop keeper: “Do you want to see magic?” Shop keeper replies: “Yes.”
Akpors says: “Give me one chocolate bar.” The shopkeeper gave him one and he eats it. He then asks for the second, and he eats that as well. He asks for the third, and finishes that one too.
The confused shop keeper says: Akpors, I’ve done everything you asked, but where’s the magic?
Akpors laughs and says to the man: Now check in my friend’s pocket, and you’ll find the three chocolates I ate!
(Ofego fainted!)
“Oboy I’m the best thief ever, I stole 3 chocolates and no one saw me, you cant beat that”.
Akpors replied: “Oh, you want to see something better? Let’s go back to the shop and I’ll show you real
stealing.”
So they went back to the counter and Akpors says to the Shop keeper: “Do you want to see magic?” Shop keeper replies: “Yes.”
Akpors says: “Give me one chocolate bar.” The shopkeeper gave him one and he eats it. He then asks for the second, and he eats that as well. He asks for the third, and finishes that one too.
The confused shop keeper says: Akpors, I’ve done everything you asked, but where’s the magic?
Akpors laughs and says to the man: Now check in my friend’s pocket, and you’ll find the three chocolates I ate!
(Ofego fainted!)
Akpors and the house maid
Akpors’ wife couldn’t find three of her panties in her house and accused the maid in front of her husband Mr Akpors.
The maid in a bid to defend herself replied; ‘Madam, I swear, I did not steal your pant, in fact, I no dey even wear pant, if you think say na lie ask Oga, Oga you are my witness oh, I dey ever wear pant??
If you were Akpors, what’s the next thing you would do/say?
The maid in a bid to defend herself replied; ‘Madam, I swear, I did not steal your pant, in fact, I no dey even wear pant, if you think say na lie ask Oga, Oga you are my witness oh, I dey ever wear pant??
If you were Akpors, what’s the next thing you would do/say?
Akpors the bible student
Akpors went to Sunday school yesterday (Sunday)
Teacher: Who can tell me the surname of Lazarus whom Christ
raised from the dead?
(After a while Akpors gives it a try)
Akpors: Him surname na Com-fort.
Teacher: how did u come about that?
Akpors: It is in the bible. When Jesus raised him from the dead
He shouted, LAZARUS COM-FORT!!! (Lazarus come forth)
One word for Akpors this time?
Teacher: Who can tell me the surname of Lazarus whom Christ
raised from the dead?
(After a while Akpors gives it a try)
Akpors: Him surname na Com-fort.
Teacher: how did u come about that?
Akpors: It is in the bible. When Jesus raised him from the dead
He shouted, LAZARUS COM-FORT!!! (Lazarus come forth)
One word for Akpors this time?
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